Best Friends Wedding, Mom Guilt & Love

Well she did it ladies & gents! My oldest and dearest friend Laura tied the knot this past weekend with her long time love Trystan! It was the most beautiful wedding and I am honored to have been apart of it!

Rehearsal dinner with the bridal party!

The Wedding Party!

The weekend was full of emotions for me! Friday morning started out with Jason driving Madison & I into daycare & work. My friend Steph was picking me up early so we could get to Lancaster on time for the rehearsal. When I woke up that morning I was excited but felt a twinge of guilt because it was the longest I would be away from Madison - two nights. Yes, you read that correctly. TWO NIGHTS. Meaning the longest I've ever been away from my daughter was one night in the past two years. I'm a bit of a psycho, or just addicted to my kid(s), or both. 

Anyway, I had Mom guilt because I felt like I would be missing out on time with Mads & Michael. A funny thing happened though. I got around my friends and the laughs began and never stopped. Seriously, all weekend long. 

It made me realize that I'm not JUST a mother but I am a million different things all rolled into one. Being a Mom is hands down the most important part of me though. I spoke about the kids non-stop and missed them so much. Even when you're away from your children they are ALWAYS apart of you. I never really got that until now. 

I also felt bad because I didn't act like a Mom. I cursed and drank and yelled but DAMNIT I had a great time and I'm not going to apologize for that! 

Me .. acting like an idiot!

 It was time spent not changing dirty diapers, or cleaning up spilled milk, or helping someone find a missing toy/iPod/cell phone. Instead it was reading a magazine in silence while drinking mimosa's, getting my hair and make-up done and putting on a beautiful dress. I felt wonderful inside and out and Jason could really tell. I not only needed this weekend but Jason did too. I spend so much time worried about the kids that I sometimes forget he needs his wife every now and then. He looked so good cleaned up (it was nice to see him in something other than his work clothes and camo!). We spent the night laughing, dancing (mostly on my part), hugging and kissing. It felt like the beginning. 7 years later and the man can still give me butterflies with just one smile! 

All in all I have a lot to be thankful for; the very best friends, husband and family a woman can ask for. The moral of this story is that every now and then you have to take time out for yourself. It's not selfish it helps you remain sane. And Mom guilt will always be there but it becomes manageable! It only makes reuniting that much sweeter. That morning when we went to get the kids Madison ran through the kitchen as soon as she heard my voice and screamed "MOMMY!!!". She then caught a case of the giggles and gave me a bear hug. Then Michael came in and gave me a hug and kiss too. That was a wonderful way to end a perfect weekend if you ask me. 

In the wise words of Winnie the Pooh:

Sweet Bridal Boudoir Shoot!

My best friend since elementary school is getting married next weekend! Ahhh!! It seems like just yesterday I received a text message with a picture of her engagement ring and was FREAKING OUT. Her fiance Trystan proposed to her in Paris of all places! Trystan is such a wonderful person and I am so happy they found eachother. This wedding is going to be a tear jerker for sure! 

Laura wanted to give Trystan something special for his grooms gift and since I have yet to do a "boudoir" shoot I asked her if she would be my guinea pig. Now if you know Laura she can be kind of modest when it comes to certain things so I suggested bringing our best friend Steph along to lighten the mood and help make her laugh. Our other best friend Brittany lives in North Carolina but if she were with us there is no doubt in mind we wouldn't have gotten anything done. We would be laughing and carrying on way too much. That's just how we are. "Young at heart" is such an understatement. We still act like children when we get together, it's kind of ridiculous. 

Anyway, since the weather has been GORGEOUS I suggested doing an outdoor shoot. My father in-law owns property along a creek and gave us permission. We had a lot of privacy and it worked out great! Now when people hear "boudoir" shoot or anything lingerie related they automatically think racy and trashy. That is simply not the case and Laura is anything but those things. I wanted to do something that was sweet, sexy, romantic, simple ... all characteristics that Laura embodies. I am confident that I accomplished that. 

There are women out there who are very confident in their bodies but I think the majority of us have a laundry list of things we would like to change. So how do you make the person being photographed more comfortable during a shoot like this? Here is your answer:

Booze & best friends. It's really quite simple.

YUP. Pretty much. We had such a fun night taking pictures, having a few drinks and then after all was said and done we sat around a small fire and caught up with eachother. There's a saying, "friends are therapists you can drink with" and boy is that the truth! 

Overall I'm really excited about the end product and I hope that Laura and her groom will be as well! 

Thanks for being a good sport Laura! These pictures really show your beauty inside and out! Love you! 

and by far my favorite of the entire night ... 

Absolutely gorgeous!

A Change is Gonna Come

My happiness! Kids home from school!

We had a lot of big changes in our house this week! 

Michael man began 6th grade and Madison started her new daycare.

On Sunday afternoon Thing #1 (Michael) stood in the kitchen talking to me while I did the dishes. I asked him if he was excited for school and he told me he was more nervous than anything. He was worried he wouldn't know where to go. I tried explaining to him that it was perfectly normal to feel that way but the day would probably be the most exciting one he has all year. I told him he'd see friends he hadn't seen all summer long and make new ones. 

He called us Tuesday night to let us know he had a great day and that a certain "country girl" caught his eye. He's still working on getting her name but I keep telling him his only concern should be school instead of a girls name. Who am I kidding right? I wish I could say his interest in girls is a new development but from the moment I met Michael I called him a mini Casanova. He used to sit in my lap, look up at me with love and admiration all while whispering sweet nothings in my ear like jewelry and rides in his car. Did I mention this was at the age of 4? Yeah we're in big trouble! 

I tried telling him that girls at this age are filthy creatures who carry cooties (kidding, kidding!) but he just shakes his head and looks at me like I'm crazy. I so miss the days when I was "She-sha". I would give anything for him to look at me like I'm the coolest person again. Now I'm just plain old "Wiggam" who knows so much less than he does. I've heard about growing pains but always thought that pertained to the child. I never thought it would relate to the parent too. Such is life!

Anyway, Thing #2 (Madison) started a new daycare. She used to attend an at home daycare where a family friend watched her. While that daycare was great my husband and I decided we wanted Madison to have a little more structure in her life. I was obviously nervous and scared! The first day was a big surprise to me. She walked in like she had been there forever, sat down on the carpet with the rest of the kids and said, "hey guys!". The second day she wanted me to play blocks on the floor with her, "Sit Mommy, sit!" patting the ground. I told her we'd play later on and that I had to go to work. I got a kiss and then said, "Bye Mads!". Her response? "Bye Mommy, see you later!". The teachers gave me a reassuring smile and that's when I knew things were going to be okay. She no longer uses a binky and is using the "big girl potty" on a regular basis! Multiple teachers this week told me, "She is just such a happy girl, she's like that all day!". Hearing that makes me smile because a child who is well loved is a happy child and I'm glad Madison displays that.

One of Madison's daily report cards. Love the note at the bottom left! 

So like I said .. we had big changes but those big changes were WONDERFUL! I am so incredibly proud of both kids. They're turning into amazing little people. What more could a parent want?

Thing #3 (Gunner) is doing exceptionally well. The other reason I was against getting Gunner was because puppies are TOO MUCH WORK! He is a lot of work but I thought it was going to be harder. He's actually spoiling us if you think about it. The pup rarely has any accidents in the house and if he does it's because we weren't paying attention to the signs. He will scratch at the back door or bark at us when he needs to go out. When he's tired, like clockwork at 9pm if he is not cuddling up by someone he will simply go upstairs, get into his crate and fall asleep. Such a good doggie! 

The lesson in the Cramer house this week was about change. It's usually scary but always necessary in life. Good and bad you will adjust! 

To quote one of my favorite movies ... 

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what Momma always says. "She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning just give hope a chance to float up .. and it will too." - Hope Floats